Resources to Help You Along Your Way

This section includes books, organizations and links to websites and videos to help you take your next steps.  You will find resources on many different subjects that relate to separation and/or divorce.

Index

  1. Reconciliation
  2. Communication
  3. Publications and organizations in the USA and Canada for consensual (out of court) separation and divorce services
  4. Organizations and Online Legal Resources: USA
  5. Organizations and Online Legal Resources: Canada
  6. Organizations and Online Financial Resources: USA & Canada
  7. Parenting plans
  8. Co-parenting
  9. Resources for Parents
  10. Resource For Children
  11. General Parenting
  12. Resources for Adults

Reconciliation

If this is an option for you, these resources may support you and/or your spouse to pause, reflect and try something new. Finding a good couple therapist can help.  

 

Communication

Communication can be challenging at the best of times.  Through separation and divorce, it often takes more effort to manage strong emotions and to get your ideas across.  These resources can help.   Even if your spouse is not interested, you can learn to communicate more effectively.  Sometimes this improves things enough that the initially uninterested spouse becomes more interested. If you experience your spouse as a ‘high conflict personality, see the High Conflict Institute below.

Publications and organizations in the USA and Canada for consensual (out of court) separation and divorce services

  • collaborativepractice.com: International Academy of Collaborative Practitioners (IACP) This organization includes Collaborative Practitioners in the USA, Canada and all around the world.   It includes the locations of all practitioners in all countries sorted by name, profession and locations as well as comprehensive information about Collaborative Practice for professionals and for the public..
  • Association of Attorney-Mediators: attorney-mediators.org
  • This site includes a list of attorney mediators across the USA: Family Mediation Canada
  • This site includes descriptions of Mediation and a list of FMC Certified Mediators across Canada: ADR Institute of Canada
  • This site sets out benchmarks for best mediation and arbitration practices; arbitrator and mediator rosters; frequently asked questions: Association of Attorney-Mediators  
  • This site includes a list of attorney mediators across the USA.
  • KeepOutofCourt.Com This site includes information about mediation and collaborative law, mediator roster and collaborative professional roster for each state.
  • Mediate.Com This site provides information regarding family mediation services, and mediator rosters across the USA by state.
  • Pathways to an Amicable Divorce:  A Guide to the Beginning of Separation by Christina Vinters, J.D.
  • This resource provides thorough information about different pathways through consensual divorce and a detailed list of divorce services of all types in the US and Canada both at the national and state or provincial level.
  • The Four Ways of Divorce: A Concise Guide to What You Need to Know About Divorce Using Litigation, Negotiation, Collaboration and Mediation by Rachel L. Virk
  • Divorce Without Court: A Guide to Mediation and Collaborative Divorce by Stoner, Katherine | Nolo Press
  • Collaborative Divorce: The Revolutionary New Way to Restructure Your Family, Resolve Legal Issues, and Move On With Your Life by Pauline Tesler, M.A., J.D. & Peggy Thompson, PhD
  • Collaborative Practice; Deepening the Dialogue by Nancy Cameron, QC (a Kindle edition is available)
  • The Collaborative Way To Divorce; The Revolutionary Method That Results in Less Stress, Lower costs, and Happier Kids – Without Going To Court by Stuart Webb (Founder, Collaborative Law) and Ron Ousky
  • The Collaborative Way To Divorce; The Revolutionary Method That Results in Less Stress, Lower costs, and Happier Kids – Without Going To Court by Stuart Webb (Founder, Collaborative Law) and Ron Ousky (on Amazon)
  • Collaborative Divorce Handbook; Helping Families Without Going to Court by Forrest S. Mosten (on Amazon)

 

Organizations and Online Legal Resources: USA

  • Custody Doc: Expert Psychological information for divorcing parents.
  • Justia: This site includes free legal information for lawyers, law students, businesses and the public with links to family law, articles and web resources.
  • U.S. Divorce Law Center: Information and articles regarding various family law topics, and resource links for each state:
  • American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers: This site includes a directory of AAML members across the USA as well as a library and information centre.

Organizations and Online Legal Resources: Canada

  • Families Change: This site provides guides to separation and divorce for kids, teens, and parents; interactive game for kids and teens; online courses for Parenting After Separation and Parenting After Separation – Finances Edition, Parenting After Separation Handbook:
  • Family Matters TV: This site provides access to over 200 videos of interviews and presentations by family law professionals from interviews with a sitting judge.
  • Justice Canada: Information regarding various family law topics, and many publications including Federal Child Support Guidelines, Spousal Support Advisory Guidelines, Creating a Parenting Plan, and divorce related research articles.
  • The National Self-Represented Litigants Project (NSRLP): committed to advancing understanding of the challenges and hard choices facing the very large numbers of Canadians who now come to court without counsel.
  • A complete collection of resources developed to help SRLs through the process: http://representingyourselfcanada.com/national-database/
  • Facebook page: A national database of lawyers and other professionals who will work with SRLs in a flexible, more affordable way.
  • Representing Yourself Blog: A variety of social media which many SRLs use to stay in touch and discuss developments
  • A blog by Dr Julie McFarlane, a leading writer and thinker on SRLs.

 

Organizations and Online Financial Resources: USA & Canada

These sites feature financial professionals who have chosen to include a speciality in divorce related skills in their practice. They can help you get your finances organized before engaging with other professionals and can continue with you through the separation process as a part of an Integrated Mediation or Collaborative Divorce team.

  • Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts (IDFA) is going to be your number one resource for clients to locate CDFA (Certified Divorce Financial Analyst) professionals near their location. IDFA website: https://institutedfa.com/find-a-cdfa
  • Association of Divorce Financial Planners (ADFP). This is solely a membership organization – so while they do not certify financial professionals, they still have certain membership requirements and hold their members to strict standards.  ADFP website: http://www.divorceandfinance.org/search/custom.asp?id=4022

 

Parenting plans

A parenting plan is a written document that outlines how parents will raise their child after separation or divorce.  Parenting plan templates can help you get started.  

  • Custody Dock; Expert Psychological information for divorcing parents.

Parenting plan topics

This is a simple list of parenting plan topics to help you start to think about what kinds of things can go into a parenting plan.  Once you are familiar with the ideas, a more comprehensive template (see below) can help you make your own custom fit parenting plan.

 

Co-parenting

 

For Parents

 

For Children

  • The Dinosaur’s Divorce by Marc Brown and Laurie Krasny Brown
  • I Will Always Love You: Helping Kids Cope With Divorce and Separation by Aya Alasbali
  • Mom’s House, Dad’s House for Kids: Feeling at Home in One Home or Two by Isolina Ricci

General Parenting

The separation/divorce transition is stressful for everyone.  It can also surface and intensify areas where your parenting could improve.  Or perhaps your spouse was more in charge of the kids while you were more out in the workforce.  This could be a great time to learn some new parenting practices that can continue to support your family for years to come.