Generally we do not plan for our intimate relationships to end – but roughly half of them do, by choice, before our 30th anniversary. More and more people are realizing that there is something to learn about these transitions both for ourselves as adults as well as for our children and our parenting.
As a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist as well as parent educator and specialist in separation/divorce, my general consultations bridge between the separation specific needs and anything the therapeutic world has to offer. This could include a general therapeutic relationship, teaching self-calming techniques, understanding couple dynamics, multi-generational dynamics, children’s needs, learning and practicing communication skills, etc.
My Expertise: Providing A Place to Land
After more than 25 yrs of working with marital transitions, I have developed the ability to communicate clearly about the intricacies of these transitions, to help you understand your current situation and to find your way forward. I provide a place to land, to pause and to start learning about this new territory called ‘separation and divorce’.
How I Can Help
Personal experiences vary widely. In situations where the decision is mutual, my consultations may focus on identifying appropriate legal or financial services, the children’s needs and developing a parenting plan. In situations where one person has initiated a separation that is not wanted by the other spouse or there is moderate to high emotional volatility, my job will also be to contain and manage the strong emotions that come with these situations, support the best possible communication between the spouses and work to find ways forward, independently and integrated with other service providers as is appropriate.
Frequently I work with parents to develop a united voice for their children, to develop a way to let them know what is going on, to buffer them from adult issues and any conflict between the couple. I may also meet with the children to better understand their experience of the family changes and to provide a neutral, therapeutically supportive place for them. Sometimes I am a spokesperson who brings their perspectives to parents who may not be as tuned-in as usual because of their own pain. I also work to strengthen parenting relationships and to support strong and consistent parenting through the separation transition.
My therapeutic services are augmented as appropriate with reading and online services.