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THERAPEUTIC SERVICES
SEPARATION & DIVORCE
PUBLICATIONS
ABOUT
THERAPEUTIC SERVICES
SEPARATION & DIVORCE
PUBLICATIONS
Welcome to
My Divorce Profile
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9
11%
SECTION ONE: RELATIONSHIP QUALITY
I. Comfort, Cooperation & Communication
A. How comfortable are you being in the same room with your spouse discussing your separation?
Always comfortable enough to discuss any separation issues
Usually comfortable although difficult sometimes
Generally uncomfortable but we can still have productive conversations with some support and/or facilitation
Quite uncomfortable – We can't seem to get very far without the conversation getting stuck or flying off the rails.
Extremely uncomfortable – I won't be alone with my spouse.
B. What have you accomplished so far in terms of working together to resolve the tasks of your separation?
Resolved all issues – need help on formal drafting only
Most issues resolved
Some issues resolved
Few issues resolved
No issues resolved
C. How effectively do you and your spouse communicate?
We communicate well.
We mostly communicate well.
We sometimes communicate sufficiently.
We generally communicate quite poorly.
We do not communicate.
D. What means do you communicate by?
In person, over the phone and through text. Email as necessary.
Not in person. We use the phone, text or email.
Not in person or over the phone. We use text or email.
Email only.
We communicate only through lawyers.
E. How well do you and your spouse cooperate?
We cooperate well.
We cooperate well most of the time.
We cooperate well some of the time.
We hardly ever cooperate well.
Cooperation is nearly impossible.
II. Indicators Of Distrust
A. How would you describe your current level of trust in your spouse?
I trust my spouse in all matters of importance.
I trust my spouse in most matters of importance.
I trust my spouse in some matters of importance.
I trust my spouse in few matters of importance.
I do not trust my spouse in matters of importance.
B. How would your spouse describe his/her level of trust in you?
My spouse trusts me in all matters of importance.
My spouse trusts me in most matters of importance.
My spouse trusts me in some matters of importance.
My spouse trusts me in few matters of importance.
My spouse does not trust me in matters of importance.
C. How much do you trust your spouse to work in good faith on matters regarding the separation/divorce?
I trust my spouse completely.
I trust my spouse mostly.
I trust my spouse somewhat.
I have little trust in my spouse.
I have no trust in my spouse.
D. Between you and your spouse, how much trust is there about sharing financial information?
Complete trust.
Almost complete trust.
Moderate trust.
A low level of trust.
No trust.
E. Between you and your spouse, have there been incidents of private emails, journals, or letters being read or conversation being taped or listened to without knowledge or consent?
Never
Possibly
Probably
Yes, once.
Yes, more than once.
III. Mental, Emotional & Social Well Being
A. For either my spouse or myself, there are concerns about mental and/or emotional well being. (This could include mental or emotional instability or depression or any other mental health concern.)
None
Low
Low-Moderate
Moderate
High
B. For either my spouse or myself, there are concerns about difficulties in social relationships or isolation.
None
Low
Low-Moderate
Moderate
High
C. For either my spouse or myself, there are concerns about substance use.
None
Low
Low- Moderate
Moderate
High
D. For either my spouse or myself, there is involvement in psychiatric services.
None
Low
Low-Moderate
Moderate
High
E. For either my spouse or myself, there are concerns about suicide, attempted suicide or self-harming behavior.
None
Very low
Low
Low-Moderate
Moderate or High
IV. Physical & Emotional Safety
These questions may be difficult to answer.
At the same time, it is important to be aware of risk to yourself and/or your children. You can get help with managing this or having support from counselors, community agencies or your local hospital. If you are not afraid of your spouse, but he/she may be afraid of you, please make your best guess as to how they might answer these questions.
I am not comfortable answering these questions. I can skip this section.
A. How frightened are you of your spouse at this time?
I am not frightened of my spouse at all.
I am cautious around my spouse.
I am somewhat frightened of my spouse.
I am frightened of my spouse.
I am very frightened of my spouse.
B. In your relationship with your spouse, did you receive threats to hurt or be punished? (This includes throwing things or breaking things when angry.)
No, never.
Yes, but I was not afraid.
Yes, a few times.
Yes, more than a few times.
Yes, frequently
C. In your relationship with your spouse, have you been pushed, grabbed, shoved, bullied, choked or struck?
Never
Never but I have worried it would happen someday.
Never but we have been very close to crossing that line.
On one occasion.
On more than one occasion.
D. Have you ever been intentionally injured by your spouse?
Never
Almost
Low-level bruising
Substantial bruising
Sprains, cuts, broken bones or other
E. In your relationship with your spouse, have the police been involved because of allegations of violence or abuse by you or your spouse?
Never
Almost but it was not necessary
Almost and in looking back the police should have been involved.
On one occasion.
On more than one occasion.
SECTION TWO: COMPLEXITY OF ISSUES
V. How much are you and your spouse in agreement about what's important as as you go through the tasks of separation/divorce?
A. To what degree are you and your spouse in agreement about using an amicable approach to your separation/divorce?
Absolutely in agreement
Mostly in agreement
Somewhat in agreement
Not generally in agreement
Not in agreement at all
B. To what degree are you and your spouse in agreement about retaining control of decision-making through your separation/divorce process rather than having others (like a judge or arbitrator) make decisions for you?
Absolutely in agreement
Mostly in agreement
Somewhat in agreement
Not generally in agreement
Not in agreement at all
C. To what degree are you and your spouse in agreement about protecting your relationship or the relationships of any children in your family, as you navigate your separation/divorce?
Absolutely in agreement
Mostly in agreement
Somewhat in agreement
Not generally in agreement
Not in agreement at all
D. To what degree are you and your spouse in agreement about NOT going to court?
Absolutely in agreement
Mostly in agreement
Somewhat in agreement
Not generally in agreement
Not in agreement at all
E. To what degree are you and your spouse in agreement about controlling the costs of your separation/divorce process?
Absolutely in agreement
Mostly in agreement
Somewhat in agreement
Not generally in agreement
Not in agreement at all
VI. Complexity of Issues About Parenting
If there are no children and no pets involved in your situation please choose the Not Applicable option in the questions below. If there are one or more pets (and NO CHILDREN) that are a part of your family, please answer the question F at the end of this section.
A. If your child(ren) are aware of the separation, how are they doing with the change in the family? (This could include general emotional stability, general health, school, friends, sibling relationships.) If they are currently unaware, how do you anticipate they will do with it?
Not Applicable
They are doing or will do very well.
They are doing or will do quite well.
They are doing or will do OK.
It is or will be quite challenging for them.
It is or will be very difficult for them.
B. To what degree do you value the other parent in the welfare of the children?
Not Applicable
Very valuable, is a loving and competent parent and has many important things to offer.
Valuable, is a loving and good enough parent and has important things to offer.
Mostly valuable, but has some important problems and limitations as a parent.
Not very valuable, has little to offer or has problems that make good parenting almost impossible.
Very low value, has nothing to offer as a parent or is a danger to the child(ren) because of problems that interfere with parenting.
C. To what degree are you and your spouse fully involved parents, even if your roles sometimes differ.
Not Applicable
We are both fully involved parents.
We are both very involved but one of us is more involved because of circumstances. (work etc.)
We are both committed to our children but one of us does most of the parenting.
One of us is much more involved and the other has very limited involvement.
One of us has full responsibility for parenting and the other is not involved.
D. To what degree are you and your spouse in agreement when it comes to parenting and decision-making about educational, medical and spiritual or religious practices?
Not Applicable
Absolutely in agreement
Mostly in agreement
Somewhat in agreement
Not generally in agreement
Not in agreement at all
E. For you and/or your spouse, to what degree is there stress concerning a desire to move away?
Not Applicable
No stress. We are committed to staying in the same neighborhood or will be in close proximity.
Low stress. We will not be living as close as I would like but it is manageable.
Low – Moderate stress. One of us wants or intends to move so there will be a significant change in the children's involvement with one or both parents.
Moderate stress. One of us wants or intends to move so there will be a substantial change in the children's involvement with one or both parents.
High stress. One of us wants or intends to move so that there will be a dramatic change in the children's involvement with one or both parents.
F. If you have NO CHILDREN but have one or more pets in your family, to what degree are you and your spouse in agreement about living arrangements and daily care for your pet(s) post separation?
Not Applicable
Absolutely in agreement
Mostly in agreement
Somewhat in agreement
Not generally in agreement
Not in agreement at all
VII. Complexity of Legal Issues
A. For either you or your spouse, to what degree are there concerns about telling the truth about money and sharing financial information?
No concerns
Low level concerns
Low level to Moderate concerns
Moderate concerns
Critical concerns
B. For either you or your spouse, to what degree are there concerns about spending money?
No concerns
Few concerns
Some concerns
Moderate concern
High level concerns
C. To what degree are both you and your spouse both named on family assets (not including RRSPs).
All
Almost all
Some
Not many
None or I don't know
D. How complicated are the legal tasks of your separation? (This could include multiple homes, joint ownership, excluded property, inheritance, businesses, family businesses, investments, parenthood, international issues, health, numerous intertwining issues, conflicts of laws, etc.)
Simple property issues (i.e., one home) OR simple child support
Simple property issues AND simple child support
Moderately complex property, spousal support and child support
Complex property, spousal support and a long marriage
Difficult and/or unusual legal issues
E. To what degree are there time pressures?
No time pressures
Some time pressures because we want things done at different paces.
Moderate time pressures because of legal limitation periods but we still have some time
Substantial time pressures because of a move away or other pressing issue(s)
Extreme time pressures because the legal limitation periods are imminent
VIII. Complexity of Financial Knowledge and Expertise
A. To what degree is there a difference in the level of financial sophistication or knowledge between you and your spouse?
None or very little difference
Some difference but most of our issues are simple and straightforward
Substantial difference but most of our issues are simple and straightforward
Some difference and our issues are complex
Substantial difference and our issues are complex
B. To what degree do you believe that financial projections would be useful or important? (Using a financial professional with a specialized computer program to estimate how different financial options are likely to play out in the future.)
No projections needed.
Projections useful to confirm what we already have in mind
Projections useful for helping to assess different scenarios for both of us
Projections very important to help assess a variety of options
Projections essential for current or potential impasse on financial matters
C. To what degree will valuations be important to reaching a financial settlement? (Getting official assessments of how much things are worth.)
No valuations are needed
Simple valuations are needed (i.e., property)
More complicated valuations are needed (i.e., businesses)
Multiple or complex valuation issues with tax consequences are needed.
Complex valuations are needed and there are differences about assumptions to be used in the valuation
D. To what degree is specific financial assistance needed?
No assistance needed.
Some assistance is needed by at least one of us around routine things (i.e., budgeting).
Some assistance is needed by at least one of us about sophisticated financial issues (i.e., companies, investments, etc.)
Considerable assistance is needed by at least one of us and the issues are complicated.
We will need forensic accounting done. (Investigating the legality of some financial aspects of our situation.)
E. To what degree is financial assistance resisted by the person(s) needing it?
Financial assistance is not needed.
Financial assistance is welcome.
Financial assistance is accepted.
Financial assistance is resisted.
Financial assistance is strongly resisted.
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