Part of what makes separation and divorce so difficult to discuss is that there are many different experiences. At the beginning of the relationship, no one is planning for this outcome. When separating, both parties have lost the dream they had at the beginning.
Apart from this common experience, a lot of very different things can happen. Much of this can be organized around who is initiating the decision, who is receiving the decision or how much it is a mutual decision. Other essential elements are how much the parents see the children in the same way, how the family money works and what conflict looks like in the family.
We create our families in different ways. At the same time there are common threads. Generally men are closer to the finances and women may feel more vulnerable in this area. Women are generally closer to the care of the children and here the men may feel more vulnerable.
In the end, families are everything altogether, hopes and dreams, finances and children, past, present and future. As Moms, Dads and children move through this transition, all aspects of family life must be satisfied well enough for everyone to move forward.
